Smash's Got Talent
by MetaNightmare88
Summary: A Smash Brothers parody of America's Got Talent. Rated T for cursing.
1. Opening

"WELCOME TO SMASH'S GOT TALENT!" Master Hand yelled as some of the crowd cheered while some people booed. "Oh come on! What are you booing for?"

"This is going to be cringy!" A man dressed as Sakurai screamed.

"Right!" A man yelled. "You tell him Daddy!"

"I'm so sorry." Master Hand muttered. "You refer to a Sakurai roleplayer as your father yet you call me cringy? I'm sorry. If you have a problem with people having fun with a franchise that Nintendo doesn't even seem to care about, you can leave and not ruin the fun for everyone who actually enjoys it. And if you just came to cringe, then you need to leave as well. So please. Get out. I mean it. LEAVE UNLESS IF YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA!"

The people who booed got up and left.

"Thank you." Master Hand seethed. "Now as I was saying… WELCOME TO SMASH'S GOT TALENT!"

The smaller crowd began to cheer once again.

"Now that's what I want to hear!" Master Hand smiled. "We have a wonderful night planned for you tonight, but first let's meet our judges! First up we have the seriously underrated lord of Fire Emblem, Micaiah!"

"Thank you Master." Micaiah smiled at the judges table. "I'm happy to be here. I still don't know why I'm not in heroes yet, but I'll let them take their time."

"Your welcome!" Master Hand said. "I'd be smiling, but I'm a hand so I can't, if it's not obvious. Next up we have a no-nonsense dark angel with a strict tone, DARK PIT!"

"Hello there." Dark Pit muttered as he pushed up a pair of sunglasses. "I just have one thing to say, prepare the bleach."

"Some of the people here are weird." A cute pink cat like creature mused. "But honestly who cares? Everyone has a few screws loose heh ha!"

"That ladies and gentlemen was our third and final judge Mew!" Master Hand boomed. "Now then. Let us begin!"

The crowd cheered as the title screen appeared.


	2. Pit sings Uptown Funk

The crowd began to cheer as Pit, and the Centurions walked onstage.

"Don't flip him off yet!" Micaiah yelled as she grabbed Dark Pit's hand to keep him from hitting the reject buzzer.

* * *

"Hello there!" Pit in his chair. "My name is Pit. I'd tell you my age, but I forgot. I know I lead Lady Palutena's army but my ultimate dream is to sing! And no matter what Lady Palutena says, it's not a phase!"

* * *

"So." Mew smiled. "What's your name?"

"Pit!" Pit smiled. "Me and my centurions are going to sing a song for you!"

"What song?" Mew asked.

"Uptown Funk!" Pit beamed as he put on some sunglasses.

"Take me now god." Dark Pit muttered under his breath.

"That's a dated song." Micaiah mused. "But I'll give you a chance."

"Thank you!" Pit beamed. "HIT IT!"

The background music began to play as the centurions began to dance and sing slowly. "This hit, that ice cold Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold. This one for them hood girls. Them good girls straight masterpieces. Stylin', whilen, livin' it up in the city. Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent. Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty."

"I'm too hot." Pit sang as he slowly walked forwards.

"Hot damn!" The centurions sang.

"Called a police and a fireman. I'm too hot."

"Hot damn!" The centurions whipped.

"Make a dragon wanna retire man. I'm too hot!"

Dark Pit pressed the reject buzzer, but no one seemed too fazed by it as they all continued to dance.

"Hey, hey, hey, oh!" Pit finished.

"Well… that was interesting…" Micaiah muttered.

"I know right!" Pit beamed. "So are you letting me move on?"

"No!" Dark Pit yelled.

"Yes!" Micaiah said at the same time.

"What?" Dark Pit cried. "Why?"

"It was entertaining to say the least." Micaiah smiled.

"I have to agree." Mew mused. "I found it to be a lot of fun."

"Thanks! Just you wait. I'll knock your socks off next time!" Pit smiled as he and the centurions walked offstage.


	3. Robin's Magic Show

The crowd began to cheer as Robin walked onto the stage.

"I'm been a magician for as long as I can remember, which is two years." Robin mused. "I've got this nailed and I'll move on for sure!"

"Welcome." Mew mused. "What's your name?"

"Robin." Robin mused. "I'm a magician."

"How great." Dark Pit muttered sarcastically. "What are you going to do pull a rabbit out of a hat?" 

"Nope!" Robin smiled as bunny Chrom rolled out a box on wheels. "I'm going to saw Chrom into all kinds of cool shapes!"

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" The crowd went as they began to cheer.

"WHAT?" Chrom cried. "Is that safe?"

"Of course!" Robin smiled. "It's perfectly safe! Now come climb on in!"

Chrom climbed into the box, doubtful.

"Perfect!" Robin smiled. "You have insurance right?"

"Yeah! Wait…WHAT!" Chrom cried as Robin sawed him into cubes and built a pyramid.

"Ta da!" Robin cried.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Chrom's head cried as Robin unstacked the pyramid and began to play the cup song. "Wait a second… WHY AM I NOT DEAD?"

"A magician…" Robin mused as he put a cover over the cubes and Chrom was put back together. "Never reveals their secrets!"

The crowd began to clap.

"Very well done!" Micaiah laughed as Chrom fainted. "I enjoyed it!"

"One… question…" Dark Pit asked. "Does Lucina know about this?"

"No." Robin admitted. "And I've like to keep that way. So please don't tell her."

"Gladly!" Mew smiled.

"So anyways… can we make this quick…" Dark Pit muttered. "I want them to move on, but I don't want to complaint them either…"

"Absolutely!" Micaiah and Mew nodded. "You're in." They both said at the same time.

"Thank you!" Robin smiled as they carried Chrom off the stage.


	4. King DeDeDe sings fabulous

The crowd began to cheer as King DeDeDe walked out.

* * *

"I was meant to win!" King DeDeDe exclaimed. "I've been performing songs from High School Musical for so long know, I'm positive I can win!"

* * *

"Hello there." Mew smiled. "What's your name?"

"King DeDeDe!" King DeDeDe smiled as a snail and some Waddles Dees came on in, carrying in a raft.

"And I'm his faithful servant Escargoon!" The snail beamed as some Waddle Dees carried in a piano and King DeDeDe climbed onto the raft while the Waddle Dees were holding it (clearly trying to be sexy). "We're going to sing for you!"

"Now now." Mew said as Micaiah grabbed Dark Pit's arm to keep him from pouring bleach into his eye. "Slow down…"

"HIT IT!" Escargoon cried as a Waddle Dee began to play the piano.

"It's out with the old and in the new, goodbye clouds of gray, hello skies of blue…" King DeDeDe sang. "A trip to the pool, I bathe in the spa endless days in my shades, the whole world occurring to Moi! Excuse me?"

The Waddle Dee stopped playing the piano.

"Thank you." King DeDeDe mused. "Iced tea imported from England. Lifeguards imported from Spain. Towels imported from Turkey. And Turkey imported from Maine!"

"We're going to relax and redo." Escargoon sang as he pulled off a towel to reveal his speedos and twirled a blue ribbon in the air.

Dark Pit and Micaiah pressed the reject buzzers faster than the speed of light as Mew blinked a million times to see if what she was seeing was real.

"You go do!" King DeDeDe screamed. "I want FABULOUS that is my simple request! All things FABULOUS bigger and better at best! I need something inspiring to help me get along! I need a little fabulous is that so wrong?"

King DeDeDe then took off his cape to reveal a pink bikini with big white polka dots. And when that happened Mew pressed the reject button and the act slid to a halt.

"HEY!" King DeDeDe cried. "What's the big idea?"

"I'm sorry. Are you drunk or something?" Mew asked.

"No?" King DeDeDe answered.

"Really?" Micaiah demanded. "Because you sure acted that way."

"Wha-" King DeDeDe asked.

"LISTEN UP FATSIE!" Dark Pit yelled. "YOUR ACT MADE ME WANT TO WASH MY EYES WITH BLEACH! NOW GET OUT! I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT YOU FOR MORE SECOND!"

"Fine." King DeDeDe muttered. "But you'll regret this!"

* * *

"Smash's Got Talent will return." Master Hand mused. "Sponsored by Bleach! Make sure to drink it especially after watching that act, amiright? Ha HA!"


	5. Ridley sings Call Me Maybe

**Thank you MasterShorty11 for giving me the idea to make someone sing Call Me Maybe. XD**

* * *

The crowd began to cheer as Ridley walked out.

"Some might say I'm too big to perform." Ridley beamed. "Well fuck them! I have a shrinking potion!"

* * *

"What is it this time Ridley?" Dark Pit groaned. "Master Hand already told you; even with the shrinking potion you don't fit the qualifications to be in Smash and winning 'Smash's Got Talent' won't get you in."

* * *

"Of course it will!" Ridley smiled as he sat down. "Now then. I'm going to sing that's totally NOT outdated!"

"Ridley…" Micaiah said as the music began to start.

"Oh no!" Dark Pit gasped as he pressed the reject button. "I know what song this is! NO!"

"I threw a wish in the well. Don't ask me I'll never tell. I look to you as it fell and now you're in my way!" Ridley sang as he pulled out a pink Nokia 3310. "I'd trade my soul for wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss. I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way!"

Mew and Micaiah watched awkwardly as Ridley continued to sing.

"Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy. But here's my number. So call me maybe?" Ridley sang as he turned on his phone.

"I'm ordering some more bleach." Dark Pit muttered as the song ended.

"WELL!" Ridley smiled. "Did I win?"

"No." Micaiah muttered. "Your singing was worse than well… the voice acting in my game!"

Everyone gasped.

"I agree with Micaiah." Dark Pit snapped as he began to drink some bleach. "That was pure garbage! So get out!"

Ridley walked off the stage in a huff.


	6. Bowser Sings Shake It Off

The crowd cheered as Bowser walked on stage in Mario's clothes.

"I can't sing." Bowser admitted. "I can't put on a magic show, and I certainly can't dance. BUT I can sing while dressed as Mario!"

"Excuse me." Mew mused as Micaiah burst into laughter. "Who are you?"

"It's a me!" Bowser said in a really horrible Italian accent. "A Mario! I'ma here to singa song about me!"

"Alright then." Dark Pit said. "I'm prepared to cringe."

"Good!" Bowser smiled as the music started. "I-a stay up to late. Got nothing in my brain. That's what people-a say ohh ohh. That's what people say ohh ohh. I go on to many dates." Bowser grabbed a Peach body pillow and gave it a kiss as he spun her around. "But I can't make em stay. That's what people say!" Ohh ohh!"

The judges started to whisper as Bowser continued to dance badly on purpose and sing badly in a horrible accent.

"I shake it off!" Bowser finished.

"Congrats!" Dark Pit yelled. "The judges are in agreement! You're moving on! Now get off the stage."

"Huh?" Bowser asked. "Aren't you going to tell me what I did right?"

"Ridiculous!" Dark Pit blushed. "I-I didn't LIKE your act or anything baka! I just… well…" 

"He liked it but he doesn't want to be nice." Mew revealed.

"S-SHUT UP!" Dark Pit yelled as Bowser walked off the stage.


	7. Little Mac Plays the Recorder

The crowd began to cheer as Little Mac came on stage.

"I've been practicing the recorder for a while now." Little Mac smiled. "And now it's time. To pay tribute to someone dear."

"Hello there Little Mac." Mew smiled. "What will you be doing for us."

"Have you heard the recorder version of my heart will go on?" Little Mac asked as he held up a recorder.

"You mean that overrated YouTube video, than yes." Dark Pit muttered.

"How can you say that?" Micaiah asked. "That song is a piece of art! Are you going to perform it?"

Little Mac nodded as he held the recorder as a movie screen unfolded behind him. "I'll be playing in tribute to a person very close to me."

"Go ahead." Mew smiled.

Little Mac began to play as three letters appeared on the screen: RIP. The judges were enjoying it quite a lot at first, and there were even some tears in the audience.

However, they all pressed their reject buttons when a picture of Harambe the gorilla showed up on the screen.

"HEY!" Little Mac cried. "What's the big idea?"

"What's your big idea?" Dark Pit sneered. "Why are you still hung up on a meme that's about a year old?"

"I wanted to revive it!" Little Mac cried.

"Memes are impossible to revive." Mew mused. "Once their dead, their dead forever. Someone needs to tell that to Grandayy by the way. He still hasn't accepted that 'We Are Number One' is dead."

"It would've been way better if you had played that in tribute to school starting again soon." Micaiah said. "Or say, when your favorite character dies. Rest in peace Celestia Ludenburg. Rest in peace."

"What?" Little Mac asked.

"It's a video game franchise she got hooked on." Dark Pit snapped. "Now leave RIGHT NOW!"

Little Mac walked off the stage.

* * *

 **ATTENTION EVERYONE**

 **I usually don't take requests. But I'm having one of those "Radio Contest" thingys. IF you can tell me two people who Celestia Ludenburg (the girl who Micaiah was mourning) murdered along with how she died and why she died, I'll take your request. AND NO USING GOOGLE! The game that she comes from is called Danganronpa Trigger Happy Havoc BTW.**


	8. Olimar and his Pikmin play Beethoven

The crowd began to cheer as Olimar walked onstage with his Pikmin.

"I can do this." Olimar breathed. "I know I can."

"Hello there." Micaiah smiled. "What will you be doing for us today."

"I-I'll be… I mean… my Pikmin are going to perform some tricks for you…well my Pikmin are actually."

"Very well then." Mew smiled. "Get on with it. We're ready."

"Alright then." Olimar smiled as some of the Pikmin brought a boom box on stage. Olimar then turned a cheerful upbeat tune on.

"A Love Live song?" Dark Pit asked. "Really?"

"Is there a problem." Olimar asked. "Because I don't see one. Anyways Pikmin, assemble!"

The Pikmin arranged themselves in an audience five seats up and six seats across as the music slid to a halt. All were holding tiny instruments.

"Now!" Olimar smiled as he held up a conductor's wand. "Let's get started!"

All of a sudden the Pikmin began to play a song (Beethoven's Symphony 7) in perfect harmony as the audience stood in awe. This continued to play for a while until the music slid to a halt and and the audience began to cheer.

"Well? Did you like it?" Olimar asked.

"Liked it?" Mew asked. "This should answer that!" She cried as she pressed the golden buzzer.

Olimar gasped in shock as the Pikmin began to scream and dance around.

"Your performance was stellar!" Mew said. "I loved every moment of it. Thank you for the amazing experience."

Olimar left the stage blushing.

* * *

 **UPDATE- No one did the last request challenge, so I'm just taking the first one I get OK.**


	9. Duck Hunt Raps

**UPDATE: Starting today I'm starting to take requests. I'm going to start with MasterShorty's, but for now have some humor that won't make you laugh!**

* * *

The crowd began to cheer as Duck Hunt walked onstage in an odd outfit with light blue shorts, a blue baseball cap, blue sneakers and a white tee shirt with a blue cross.

"I'm ready to go!" Duck Hunt beamed. "I can't wait!"

"Hello there." Mew smiled as Micaiah starting blinking rapidly as to see if what she was seeing was real and Dark Pit froze in an odd position. "What will you be doing for us tonight?"

"I'll be singing a song for you called 'Party Time." Duck Hunt beamed.

"Never heard of it." Dark Pit muttered.

"It's from 'Titanic.'" Duck Hunt said as the duck flew over to a stepstool.

"You mean that sad movie about the boat?" Micaiah asked.

Duck Hunt nodded.

"I'm sorry." Dark Pit said. "No such song exists."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Duck Hunt smiled as he stood on his hind legs. "Now! Begin!"

The duck took a deep breath. "If it hadn't been for you I'd now be in someone else's digestion!" he blurted.

"You know there's something you should know, so I'm going to tell you so, don't sweat it, forget it enjoy the show!" Duck Hunt rapped. "Workin all day, now it's time to unwind, kick back, relax, take a load off your mind."

The audience and the judges sat in awe as Duck Hunt started to dance in a hipster sort of fashion.

"Everybody's feeling fine cos it's party time!" Duck Hunt rapped as he pointed at the audience.

"PARTY TIME, PARTY TIME!" The Duck sang.

"Everybody's feeling fine cos it's party time!"

Mew pressed the reject buzzer, but the act continued.

"Its party tiiiiiimmmmme." Duck Hunt finished. "So. I take it I move on?"

The judges all looked at each other in shock. "NO!" They all cried in unison.

"No?" Duck Hunt asked.

"DUDE." Dark Pit cried. "What the fuck was that shit?"

"A song from the Titanic." Duck Hunt cried.

"You say that, but I don't recall it." Micaiah snapped.

"I just looked it up." Mew said as it looked up from a phone and Duck Hunt exited the stage. "It actually exists."

"What?" Dark Pit asked.

"Yes." Mew said. "It wasn't from the Leonardo De Caprio movie by the way. It was from an animated version of Titanic."

The three looked at the phone.

"Wait a second…is that…a RAPPING DOG?" Dark Pit cried. "I mean, I know I just saw one, but really?"

"I can't believe this." Micaiah breathed. "Why would someone include that in a TRAGEDY?"

* * *

"Smash's Got Talent will back!" Master Hand said. "Sponsored by, High School: The Place were all good things go to die! And by the way? The raping dog is actually a real thing in a movie about the Titanic. Look it up. I dare you."


	10. Bayonetta Sings Born This Way

**Requested by MasterShorty.**

* * *

The crowd began to cheer as Bayonetta walked on stage in a leather leotard.

* * *

"I'm ready for this." Bayonetta smiled. "No one can resist me!"

* * *

"Hello there fine judges!" Bayonetta said as a worker moved a large pole next to her. "How are you doing?"

"G-good." Mew stumbled. "Don-don't you th-thin-think-"

"Don't I think what?" Bayonetta asked.

"It was suggesting that maybe your outfit is a bit to…skimpy." Dark Pit said.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Bayonetta said as she shook her hips. "My outfit is fine! Now. I'm going to perform a special dance and song for you!"

"Wait a second…" Micaiah blinked. "Are you going to…pole dance?"

"Is there a problem?" Bayonetta asked as she put her leg up on the pole and pulled herself up. "Anyways, the song I'm going to sing is called 'Born this Way.' Now then. Let's on with it, shall we?"

"Woah, woah, woah, woah!" Dark Pit cried as Mew covered its eyes. "Let's take it slow and steady…"

"Too late!" Bayonetta smiled as the music began to play and she climbed to the top of the pole and struck a pose.

"Wait…" Micaiah said as an electric guitar solo finished up. "I don't think-"

My mama told me when I was young. We are all born superstars. She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on. In the glass of her boudoir "There's nothing wrong with loving who you are" She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"." Bayonetta sang as she moved down and struck some poses.

"It's OK." Micaiah whispered to Mew as Bayonetta continued to dance on the pole. "It not getting sexual."

"Not yet anyways." Dark Pit muttered.

"Be quiet!" Micaiah hissed as she nudged Dark Pit. "You'll scare it even more!"

"Alright then." Mew said as it took it's paws off its face. "I'll watch."

"I was born this way!" Bayonetta declared as she did a flip.

"Don't be a drag, just be a queen." The chorus sang as Bayonetta used her magic to take off the entire top half of her leotard, leaving her chest completely bare.

"Oh." Bayonetta smiled as she slid down the pole. "Is there a problem?"

"I'm sorry." Dark Pit hissed. "When did I start watching porn?"

"You aren't watching porn." Bayonetta smiled as the bottom half of her leotard disappeared leaving her but naked in front of the crowd.

"Really?" Dark Pit asked as Mew began to hug Micaiah and cry. "Because I sure feel like it!"

"Why is that?" Bayonetta asked.

"Oh I don't know…maybe it's because A NAKED WOMEN IS IN FRONT OF ME!" Dark Pit screamed. "Seriously. What the hell. If I wanted to see a stripper, I'd go to a FUCKING BAR! And you've seen to forgotten that THIS IS A KIDS SHOW!"

"Then why are you cursing up a storm?" Bayonetta questioned.

"It'll be beeped out." Dark Pit said. "Now then. LEAVE THE STAGE!"

Bayonetta exited the stage in a huff.


End file.
